I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
