If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
