You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
