I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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