Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
