I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
