Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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