omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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