Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
