Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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