just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
