i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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