As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Watching her eat just hurts me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
