i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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