I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
