OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just forgot I was standing up.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
