Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
