I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
