i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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