i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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