Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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