And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
