We're facebook friends in real life
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
