garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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