My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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