she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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