Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
