I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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