I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
