i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
