First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
