bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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