i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
