I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
