i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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