He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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