are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
