remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
