And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
