We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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