I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
