people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
