My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
