You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
