After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I got inside last night via doggy door
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
