Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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