He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
