sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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