well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
