At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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